8 Discus fish having difficulty getting human to mate

Here's an humorous message I caught bouncing around usenet. I like it so much I offered to post it here and Andy agreed. Comments in Italics are Todd's.

Path: news.interport.net!news.sprintlink.net!news-dc-5.sprintlink.net!www.nntp.primenet.com!nntp.primenet.com!news-peer.gsl.net!news.gsl.net!portc01.blue.aol.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail
From: althair at aol.com (Althair)
Newsgroups: alt.aquaria
Subject: NYC: 8 Discus fish having difficulty getting human to mate
Date: 7 Oct 1996 18:12:26 -0400
Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
Lines: 13
Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com
Message-ID: <53bv8a$7p7@newsbf02.news.aol.com>
Reply-To: althair at aol.com (Althair)
NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf02.mail.aol.com

Hi and thanks for tuning in. We are a small school of eight discus fish of various sizes, living in a fifty-five gallon tank. We are keeping a human male in a large exterior air space, and have trained him to change our water, make us frozen beefheart food, and clean up after us. The human is an adult male, 5'11" and 190 lbs, 41 years old, self-sufficient. Our problem is that we are having problems getting this male human to mate. We are very interested in breeding several small humans and rearing them to adulthood successfully. Human seems reasonably attractive and very well mannered, and in all regards appears as if he would make a good breeder and adoring parent. We are looking for a sexy, single, childless female aquarium buff who is interested in helping us to solve this problem. All suggestions appreciated, but this may call for hands on personal attention. Please respond asap. Thanks, the discus group.